


Don't Say Sorry

by Livinginfictions



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/M, Fluff, Kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 18:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14001972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livinginfictions/pseuds/Livinginfictions
Summary: Five times the Doctor apologized for kissing Rose, and one time he didn't.





	1. Kiss of Life

The first time the Doctor kissed Rose, it wasn't really a kiss. Well, a kiss of life maybe. An underwater world, how daft had he been to bring her there? When trouble appeared, as it always did, they thought they were ready for it. Everything was taken care of relatively easily, only a couple bruises for anyone to show for it. A good day all in all. But then that last sabotage robot they hadn't been able to find appeared in the worst possible place. In a room with Rose. It only took a couple loosened bolts to flood the already damaged room, and it took time for the Doctor to get there. Too much time.

He didn't blame her for not being able to hold her breath long enough, she was only human after all. But he thought his hearts would stop beating when he saw her body sinking to the floor when he went to save her. Water was so difficult to move through, and then he had to reseal and drain the room and he just wanted to scream with every second that passed.  _Rose, please don't be gone. Please don't be gone._

He was already holding her when the water reached the floor. No breathing, no heartbeat. How did those stupid apes get around with only one heart? But he was a Doctor, so he started CPR. It wasn't like the medical staff on the base could do it, they didn't even have mouths, they barely even had hands, mostly just tentacles. "I'm not sorry I'm going to save your life, but I am sorry if you remember this." The chest compressions weren't doing it, and he could feel that he'd fractured one of her ribs. A broken rib was okay by him, he could fix that in the Tardis, but not if she was dead. Luckily Time Lords had superior lungs, god how he wished she were awake to tell him off for even thinking that, so he pulled in as much oxygen as he could and gave her mouth to mouth. It only took the once, and she jerked into a sitting position, spitting up water. 

He scooted behind her and held her up, rubbing her back and hiding his face in her soaked shoulder blades to listen to her ragged coughing. "I've got you, you're going to be alright. Everything is fine."

"Doctor, my chest hurts."

So the rib really was broken. That was okay. "I can fix that. Let's get back to the Tardis." Anything was okay, as long as she was breathing. But standing was hard for her, and walking was painful, so he kept an arm around her shoulders and she leaned on him the whole way back.


	2. An Accidental Kiss

The second time they kissed was an accident. Rose was coming out of the wardrobe, dressed to impress royalty at the ball they were going to in the Emerald galaxy. She was  _ stunning _ . The Doctor couldn't even pinpoint what it was, but she was just radiant. Everything about her, the bouncy curls she'd pinned up, the way the brown of her dress matched her eyes. He'd never realized brown could be such a beautiful colour until he met her. They were banting, and he tried desperately to avoid giving himself away, always adding 'for a human' so she wouldn't get any ideas. But honestly, for absolutely anybody in the universe she was beautiful. 

She was too busy laughing to pay attention to where her feet were and she missed a step coming down. He'd been close enough to catch her but trying to avoid knocking his head with her ended up with her lips pressed to his and he didn't know how it happened and he couldn't find it in him to care. 

Her lips were so very soft, and she was so very warm and while his mind wanted to race in every direction, it just buzzed in place. The Doctor could absorb whole computers’ worth of information in minutes, but this kiss was too much and his brain just sort of...stopped.

It wasn’t even a whole second, just the time it took him to swing her around so she could stand properly on the console platform and they separated. She was staring at him, and not knowing what better to do, he whispered, “Clumsy humans. Still, sorry about that.”

He was off. Running out to the door and yanking it open. “Ready for the ball, Miss Tyler?” She didn’t say anything back, just smiled and moved on, wrapping her arm around his, she led him out of the Tardis.


	3. A Kiss of Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know this one is a tad bit longer than the others, but seeing as it's a kiss on purpose, I figured it needed a bit more of a response.

The third time, Rose kissed the Doctor. This time she was possessed, a gaseous spirit, not unlike the Gelth, but much weaker. It couldn’t kill Rose, only take over her body. He hadn’t noticed yet, just rambling on to the group they had recruited for help about the structure of the ship they were on, and how best to find the spirit that he didn’t realize was standing beside him.

Fighting her way through, Rose gained control of her body for just a moment and grabbed him by the lapels of his leather jacket, pulling him over to her and kissing him in front of everyone. It was supposed to be a warning, a sign something was out of place. If she’d said anything, the spirit could cover it up. It was a great plan. Only he mucked it up.

The kiss was amazing. Completely surprised, all the Doctor could do was enjoy it. It was firm and full of urgency and while he didn’t understand her reasoning for doing it while he was giving instructions, he wasn’t going to complain. Maybe Rose was just struck by how impressive he was. Only, Rose usually didn’t think he was impressive. Still, it was wonderful, and over much too soon. She went stiff in the middle of it and pulled away. “Whoops.”

He didn’t realize the difference until nearly too late, when Rose knew some things a human should definitely not have known. But he saved her, extracted the spirit and carried Rose unconscious back to the Tardis for a screening in the infirmary. She woke up laying on the examination table, and smiled at him with that look she always gave him once the danger was over. “Hello.”

“Hello.” He was grinning from ear to ear when she slapped him. It hurt less than her mothers, but also somehow more. Gasping and holding his face he backed up. “You slapped me! Why the hell did you slap me? I just saved your life!”

“How did you not know that wasn’t me? I was possessed, and you didn’t notice? How thick can you be? Do you really pay that little attention to me? And you call _humans_ the stupid apes!” She was up in an instant, rounding on him with fire in her eyes. While he normally loved watching Rose go off on people, it was slightly less fun to be on the receiving end of her anger.

The Doctor was now against the wall, feeling more than a little unsafe. “Rose, just listen, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t figure it out earlier, but there were other things on my mind! And it was acting just like you, kind of. I just thought you were having an off day.”

“So you just thought that on a ‘off day’ I would bloody kiss you in public? Or when you found out I was possessed it didn’t seem weird to you that an alien might have kissed you? God, I can’t think of which I like better. That you assumed nothing was wrong when I kissed you, or that you assumed it was normal for a random alien to kiss you.” Her arms were crossed, and she still looked adorable in the sweatshirt she’d found in the wardrobe that morning, but that one _hurt_. And she was still going on, “I mean does that happen often? Is that what you do, wander the universe in search of the perfect snog?”

He didn’t mean to, to assume that she would ever want to actually…but he had. He’d been assuming that for a while actually, not that he could ever get up the courage to tell her he’d like to reciprocate. She’d just-and he’d thought…and that was totally unacceptable because they _weren’t_ . It was obvious now. He should’ve known something was wrong if Rose was kissing _him._ ”I’m sorry. Rose, I really am. I shouldn’t have-I should’ve noticed it wasn’t you.”

She calmed down at that, “Alright then. As long as you understand that if I’m kissing you, there’s a bloody reason for it.” Not waiting for a response, she headed off to her room, leaving the Doctor very confused, and more than a bit sad.


	4. A Kiss Unnoticed

The fourth time the Doctor kissed Rose, she didn’t notice. He’d been working so hard on restraining himself. The last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable, or make her want to leave. He didn’t know what he’d do with himself if she left. So he kept his distance. Now that he knew she didn’t feel anything, it was almost easier to hide his own thoughts. They joked more than ever, but talked less. He didn’t want to overwhelm her with information or annoy her. So he walked on eggshells, only took her places that she asked for.

Rose noticed. She didn’t like it. How he’d stopped reaching for her hand when they left the Tardis, and how much more defensive he was when people assumed they were together. He was so on edge, so eager to please, without ever being himself. She hated it. So she flirted more. She batted her eyes and smiled up at him and hugged him after every adventure. Anything to get his attention. Sometimes she thought it was working, but at the last second he’d back off. But how could she ask? How did one bring up dancing with the Doctor?

She was being infuriating. It was like she was testing him, making sure the Doctor had to constantly be on guard. The way she smiled at him, and rested her head against his shoulder when she was tired. The number of times she asked for his coat and she spent the rest of the day smelling like him. She was taunting him, she had to be. But he knew that wasn't want she wanted. She'd as good as said so. But humans were strange, and late at night when he was able to be honest with himself, he knew he loved it. He was so proud every time she identified a species properly, or remember the proper greeting. His hearts swelled whenever he saw how kind she was to the people they met. It didn't matter to her if they were blue, had ten eyes, had a tail or all three. Everyone she saw was met with pure goodness and he loved that he got to have her with him. He loved...if he was honest, he loved her.

They were alone in the Gamma forests, and it was late. The Tardis had been dragged off by a Prestilate, and it would take ages to get to the nest without a vehicle, so they stayed the night under a tree. The Gamma forests weren’t cold by any means, but Rose still insisted on laying close to him. It was her idea, so he couldn’t see why he should deny her. And she asked him about Gallifrey again, asked him to describe the Citadel, and growing up. How could he say no? As she cuddled up next to him, it seemed less and less important that he keep away. Just after she’d fallen asleep, he couldn’t help himself to one, feather light kiss on the forehead. Surely that wasn’t too much, right? If she never noticed it, where was the harm?


	5. A Mistaken Kiss

The fifth time the Doctor kissed Rose, it was a mistake. Not an accident, he definitely did it on purpose, but a mistake. 

They saved a whole planet of people. Fantastic Rose with her brilliant, human ideas that gave the Doctor another good day, where no one died and everyone was happy. They liked to save their celebrations for the Tardis, and they ran to it, him pulling her by the hand exactly as when they’d first met. They were laughing from sheer adrenaline and when they reached the Tardis he couldn’t think of anywhere he wanted to go next. He just wanted to enjoy this moment for a while, gasping and looking at his wonderful Rose. 

Every time the Doctor said, or even just thought her name, it was hopeful.  _ Rose.  _ She was always there; making fun of his ears, holding his hand, saving him while he tried to save others. She made him better. Sometimes he thought about how angry he’d been when they first met. He didn’t want anyone, he didn’t need anyone. Stupid apes with their chips and beans on toast and work. The most boring things in the universe. He didn’t know why he even bothered coming to Earth. But she wasn’t. She asked all the right questions, and made him see how amazing humans really were. 

She was still looking at him, grinning widely and her last giggle was just quieting. “Oh Rose, you were fantastic.” and he let himself go to her. He let himself hold her face in his hands, this precious, wonderful Rose, and he kissed her. Just like before, her lips and body were warm and soft and he pulled her tight against him. For once, he didn’t know how long it lasted. It could have been hours, or years, or seconds. He didn’t care. He’d been holding back for so long, couldn’t he just have this? All of time and space and she was all he wanted.

When he finally pulled away from her, it didn’t take any time at all for him to realized how stupid he’d been. The last time they’d kissed she’d explicitly told him she’d never kiss him without a reason. She didn’t want  _ this _ , and she didn’t want him. She wanted adventure, and space, and he was pushing himself on her and making assumptions. Again.

“Doctor…” Her eyes were wide, probably with fear. Look at him, a 900 year old Time Lord kissing a 19 year old human.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Rose, I’m sorry.” And the Doctor did the only thing he knew how to do. He ran away. He could hear her calling for him, but what was the point in being told what he already knew? Off to the back of the Tardis, maybe down to make some repairs, maybe just to wait until he felt like he could look her in the eye again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a bit short for being so close to the end, but I promise a happy ending is in sight!


	6. An Unapologetic Kiss

No. She wouldn’t let him do this again. He didn’t get to just leave. Not after that. Rose ran after him, but was very quickly lost, and ended up back in the control room after too many left turns. Turning to the console she threw her hands up. “Help me find him! Surely you don’t want to see him doing this to himself? Please.” But of course there was no response. Not a whir, not a flip of a switch. Nothing.

Sighing, she tried again, only this time, even though she was positive it was the same hall she’d gone down before, it now led in a straight line. The twists and turns from before were gone, and the hall went impossibly far back. “Is this a trick? Do you not want him to be found? Look, just cus’ you’ve had him longer, doesn’t mean he isn’t important to me too, I’m trying to help!” The lights above her flickered, following a path down the hall. They did it again, and again, and finally Rose got the hint. She ran, partly from worry, and partly from excitement.

He’d finally done it. No excuses, no waiting until he thought she was asleep. He’d finally, properly kissed her. And then he’d run away. Rose wasn’t as surprised as she’d like to be. But it would be worth it if-

There. The Tardis had literally led her straight to him. The room he was in was...empty. It was completely bare and white and the Doctor was pacing back and forth in it, muttering to himself. Rose didn’t want to storm in this time, so she just leaned against the door. “What was that for? Why’d you go swanning off?”

She’d startled him, “Rose? How’d you get here?” He came forward and stuck his head out the door, looking around. He was three lefts, two rights and five locked floors away from the console room, she shouldn’t have been able to even get to the elevators.

“I had a little help from the Tardis, I think she likes me.” on hearing this the Doctor muttered “Traitor” and went back to the other side of the room, but Rose wasn’t done, dammit. “Anyway are you gonna answer my question? You finally give me what I want and then start apologizing and leave. What’s that about?”

The Doctor looked angry, and he turned on her. “What hell do you mean ‘what you wanted’? God, _Humans._ You’re all so ridiculous! Last time you made it very clear that nothing would ever happen between us so why exactly is me kissing you a good thing?”

“Because I love you, you idiot!” Her effect was instantaneous. The color drained from his face, and it took a good few seconds for him to figure out words. Rose tried valiantly not to laugh.

For a being of absolute intellectual prowess, the Doctor was finding it very difficult to think in full sentences. “But you-when you tripped-”

“I may have taken advantage of the situation.” She looked down at the floor, hiding a smug smile, but still feeling her cheeks heat up.

“But _you said_ there had to be a reason. And, it was supposed to be wrong if you kissed me.”

“In public, Doctor. It was strange if I kissed you in public. Snogging you in front of a bunch of strangers is a little weird, isn’t it? And why couldn’t the reason be that I wanted to?”

“So...you…”

“I love you, yes.”

“And that means, I can…”

He didn’t remember moving forward, only her meeting him in the middle and jumping into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist and the Doctor could only look at her for a second. “ _Rose.”_

This time the kiss was perfect. It never had to stop, neither of them wanted it to stop. He’d been dreaming about the kisses he’d had with her before, but this one topped them easily. She was there, and his, and he could kiss her as much and long as he liked. He wouldn't dream of apologizing for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go. Only took me 5 hours. God I love the ninth Doctor.  
> Please be sure to let me know what you think in a comment!


End file.
